Eating Crayons

Random Useless Tests to tell you about myself without trying.

2005-11-16T22:12:27Z

I took a bunch of filler tests! Yay nothing to do...

Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover

You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you!
Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter.
You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you.

You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorable
Even a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's life
By giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover.

Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives.
Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours.
No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

That's just plain flattering.

Your Fortune Is

Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

To True!

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Okay that one was a bit insulting...

Your Pimp Name Is...

Ms. Tickler

What's Your Pimp Name?

Fuckyeah! Bondage Fairy.

Your Observation Skills Get A B-

Your senses are pretty sharp (okay, most of the time)
And it takes something big to distract you!

How Observant Are You?

Crap, and I'm suposed to be the observant one?

Candy Cigarettes

You're a total badass, but you don't taste very good.

What Kind of Candy Are You?

Badass!!!

Your Hidden Talent

Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people.
You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together.
Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly.
People crave your praise and complements.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

Oh, go on... No, seriously... Go on!

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent.
Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.

You would make an excellent:

Clothes Designer - Comedian - Actress
Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer
Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor

The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

No shizzle mi nizzle.

You Are a Henna Gaijin!

You're not Japanese, but you wish you were!
You can use chopsticks with your eyes closed, and you've memorized hundreds of Kanji.
You even answer your phone "moshi moshi."
While the number of anime videos you've seen is way higher than the number of dates you've been on, there's hope.
Play the sexy, mysterous gaijin, and you'll have plenty of Japanese meat.

What's Your Japanese Subculture?

Moshi Moshi bitches!

You Are 60% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?
But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

Toilet Paper Brests.

Man these are annoying, bye!

The Impending Update

2005-11-08T00:37:04Z

Im not even sure of how long its been since I dusted off my livejournal, here goes:

Well lets start with some happy thoughts; gold stars, kittens, sunshine, sparkles, cake, construction paper, sprinkles, parades, rainbows, koolaid, forehead kisses, the circus.

In the real world, I've moved back to Campbell River after a long summer in Tahsis BC, I had some really nice friends out there and a sweet boyfriend named Aaron, i hope i run into him again someday. During the summer i went ot Shambhala 2005 and oh man, google it! wow.

In CR I'm still looking for a job [not really] but mostly hanging out with my friends, partying every night, spooning, being irresponsible and such. I held a huge Rave at my moms house this Halloween. We named it Shinanigans and ogahd was it ever. 5 Dj's about 60 ravers, music 'till 9am.

Ive decided to find a venue for some cool punk bands coming out from Edmonton, so if your a punk and you kow how to handle shit like this, please do! d_vyne69@hotmail.com haha, wheres a promoter when you need one?

Other than all that crap, my minds holdin itself together pretty good these days, must be percussive maintenence, cuz theres no way i'm responsible for things falling into place like they do. Im stering clear of psychadelics, opiates, enactogens and the like for a while, i think i'd like to keep things arranged the way they are... Anybody follow?

Thats the way the ball bounces, and would you look at that its November!

peace or chaos whatever floats yer boat
Bittford - herself

et des fois j'ecris en autres langues

2005-06-18T17:52:56Z

goodbye!
tahsis ho.

my other page

2005-06-17T06:57:26Z

go here to see pictures and shit
http://spaces.msn.com/members/bittford/

heartache every moment

2005-06-17T06:54:30Z

he fuckin did it.
without even trying.
im a sap.
im so hopelessly romantic that i fell
head over heels, discombobulatedly,
for the first boy i found.

but he wasnt just some boy.
he was my freakin doppulganger.
so bloody perfect.
i knew it couldnt work.

nothing that right ever works.

*crying myself to sleep*
goodnight

thats fucking it

2005-06-16T06:26:42Z

Im officially looking.
for that person that completes my life.
Im sick of being lonely.
lifes too short to be mildly satisfied.
I want to wake up every morning with a warm body and a close up smile.
I want to constantly think, your amazing, and for them to be constantly thinking that about me.
I want common interest that are thrilling.
and a passion thats consumming.
I want walks, and dinners and tickle fights and sharing shirts.
I want to skip work to come and surprise you.
and for you to know my favorite color.
and wether i'd prefer coffee or tea.
I want to wake up in the middle of the night to find him spooning me.
I want kisses all over, and bitemarks and cuddles.

but mostly i dont want to coax myself into sleep alone and empty ever again.

today has been hazy

2005-06-12T09:56:47Z

boo drugs

i lost track of a week thanks to good drugs.
but i think i caught sick at my party on sat.
sunday never exsisted. thats forsure.
its a haze from monday to friday...
i woke up on weds and was blindigly illen.
after 3 days in bed and a few trips to the doctor i have strep and the flu and a counter covered in syrups and thermometers and pills upon pills.
so im taking T3's now and am feeling comfortably numb.
today has been a fun rad day sitting inside watching the rain and reconnecting with my pal the computer.
i are solids and even jogged i was feeling so good.
hopefully tomorrow will bring similar improvements.

hooray drugs.

i also heard "the postal service - nothing better, such great heights, and we will become sillhouettes" for the first time tonight and its made my life.

thankyou leyna darko, lady love.

paix world.
good night moon.

im changing my name to lydia

2005-05-13T07:20:50Z

im still stunned, in shock, that you smashed when i dropped you
your tiny, sharp edges glittering on the floor
the closer i come, the smaller i grind the pieces under my feet
cutting my fingers into ribbons while i try and pull you together
a puddle of twinkling burgundy ice
and months later you'll be stuck in me, under the bandaids
tiny shards coursing along my bloodstream
scraping along my veins with every heartbeat
cutting me up from the inside
i never wouldve dropped you, if i'd known you would break

I missed the bus!

2005-03-12T00:03:41Z

yup, so now i have 9 extra hours in Edmonton! woot!
luckily i have someone to entertain me.
just chillin at kevin's hizzouse {im so street}
we made cookies and he just brought me some warm ones
*yummy warm cookies smile*

do the evolution - pearl jam

im going back to jasper tonight and to work in the morning
im going to quit my job
i've decided
hopefully going to find a waitress job with my sassy new hair

cross your fingers for me pals
come and visit anytime

peace

bittford @ 2005-03-10T13:39:00

2005-03-10T21:42:47Z

so i took 5 days off from housekeeping
came back to CR for a visit
it was WONDERFUL to see all my friends and family again
everybody says i lost lotsa weight *vain*
going back today
have to go say hey to jess *shaking nervous*

you can all find me at 852-1924
i have a roommate named krysta now
she rox

see you again someday
brittany

today in jasper!

2005-01-17T23:34:45Z

oh my god jasper is cold!!!!!!
do british columbians understand minus 39?!?!
i only have 5 more minutes of internet
is is snowing
i am soooooo happy with my boyfriend its scary
he loves me
smile

i talked to nate today, i miss him
i miss lots of people
especially leyna
shmooze

and jessee
island

well hope somebody reads this and is happy
i gotta go find keyna now, she is at the grocery store
and its snowing
woo!!!

*glow*

update november '04

2004-11-28T07:44:22Z

i dont know who still does these or checks mine
but i fogure i might as well let "the interweb" know whats up.
i have been in jasper since september.
i clean rooms in 4star hotel called "the sawridge."
working everyday is strange and makes you hurt.
the indipendance is pretty neat
but groceries are really fiercly expensive.
doing your own laundry seems like a pain in the ass
you never have clean clothes when you need them.
the people there are pretty cool...
lots of bars and nightclubs full of tourists you'll never see again.
*wicked grin*

segway...
my grandpa passed away on nov.18th
giving in to cancer that had spread from his bladder all through his torso
he was 69 and had smoked for 50 years.
if he had quit he could've had 10 or 20 more years with us.
i quit smokingthat day. forever.

it doesnt seem hard once you find the right motive.
and seeing the greatest man you ever knew
bald and in a hospital bed
weak
and in pain

dying.
suddelny you have
no
desire
to smoke.

segway...
cheers to my grandpa
KURT ANDERSEN
he was a beautiful and intelligent man
and may he be playing golf with jesus and drinking ceasars with st. peter now.

ohyeah.
I know nobody ever send MAIL now
but if you wanted to
because it would be so nice to get MAIL
you can send it to
82 conought st.
jasper alb.
t0e 1e0

thankyou, and goodnight.

i got out

2004-09-19T17:37:49Z

im in jasper AB now.
i like my job.
i have good friends.
my boss is cool.
the scenery is AMAZING.
my apartment is neat.
food is expensive.
pot is hard to find.
people drink alot here.
i dont... really.
i dont miss CR.
or most of the people there.
those of you who i do miss should know it.
come to jasper.
you can get a job in a day and ALL jobs have staff acom.
even KFC.
i bought porn today.
and now i have to get groceries.
which are pricey.
everything is within a half hour walk.
tourists are funny.
variety is great.
soo many languages.
i going to get a second job.
and a house later on in winter.
than i can get bitey out here.
so far theres noone who looks like me.
fingers crossed.
and noone has told me i look like kelly osbourne... yet.
i work ALOT.
but its easy.

email me and i will try to get to a computer to reply.
this is my first day off.
lotsa money.
maybe i can fix my camera, stupid camera.

my internet time is almost up.
live well.
be happy.
drink.
smoke.
have sex.
travel.
have fun.
miss me lots.

*wow a hot chick just walked by....*

im gone

2004-09-09T19:27:10Z

i'll miss you guys.
good luck in everything you do.
i'll try and update soon.
keep emailing me, i will reply in time.

xoxoxox

doing chores at two am

2004-09-04T09:31:04Z

mommy?
where are you?
my last wekend in this godforsaken town and your with him?

nana called today.
told me how selfish i am.
told me my friends are shallow.
and my papa is dissappointed in me.

my insides are falling out.
guts plopping on the floor.

bobbing my head to techno remixes.
tears streaming down my face.
a sob escapes my lips.
echoing unheard in my big.
empty.
house.

my tummy hurts.
barely eaten in three days.
half my cookie sitting on the counter.

i know i hurt you.
im sorry.
i promised i wouldnt.
i never should have.

i should get some sleep.
got alot to do tomorrow.

5 days.

bittford @ 2004-09-02T04:42:00

2004-09-02T11:42:11Z

wow i downloaded a client.
this night just keeps getting better and better.
oh go i have to sleep now.

bittford @ 2004-09-02T04:29:00

2004-09-02T11:32:57Z

ahh what the hell might as well do another.
its not like im sleeping nayway.
how can people calm down enough to sleep.
how do you turn off the constant jabber.
one week.

1500km.
new job.
new friends.
new appartment.
new life.

i hope my old life takes good care of itself while im gone.
jessee and leyna especially.
they are my darkness.
their dark makes me happy.
and shiney.
like the new kid.

i wish i really could be shiney.
or dark.
or anything.
other than worried.

...phew...

2004-09-02T11:11:26Z

i really should know better than to go galavanting at 1 am.
who am i kidding.

and da cigarette?

Night Misadventures

2004-09-02T08:02:02Z

just got home from hanging out and now im going out again.
ken is whisking me away ona night adventure.
hot beverages are so chiche.
cliches are so hip right now.
ahh young innocent boys.
i shall behave myself.

...anxiety...

2004-09-01T09:17:41Z

ive never lived on my own before.
im moving out in 8 days.
im going to be 1500km away.
looking for a job.
and a place to live.
oh boy.

i fucked thing up with smash.
shes pissed.
i think she should apologise.
but its petty and trivial so i dont care.
oh well.

my papa has cancer now.
he gets chemotherapy.
hes afraid of losing his hair.
and not regcognizing himself.

im scared.
but i think i can do this.
maybe.

i hope.